If you’re going through divorce, you’re probably wondering what life after divorce will look like. Fear sometimes gets the best of us – and who could blame us? Especially when your ex (or soon-to-be ex) is a narcissist. Thinking about life after divorce (while getting a divorce) can be a sticking point for some people because they just aren’t sure what to expect.

Here are 5 things to keep in mind so you can have a life you love after divorce:

Emotional Stability
Divorce is tough and whether you’re going through it or you are already past it, your emotional stability is not something to ignore. The fact is that most of us will struggle after going through such an emotional ordeal – and when we’ve been involved with toxic people, this is magnified in a very real and painful way. Keep in mind that your life after divorce can be great but you have to acknowledge what you’ve gone through and allow yourself to feel and release the emotions related to it.  Facing your situation head-on is important to your emotional stability and critical to you having a happy life after divorce.

A Fresh Start
How may times in your life do you wish you could have just started over knowing what you know now? Having a positive mental attitude about your new beginning will make a huge difference in how happy your life will be after divorce. Life after divorce can be fantastic and it can also be very tough if you don’t remain positive about a what’s in front of you. Look at the glass as being “half full” and realize that, in order to be happy after divorce, you must take advantage of the opportunity to get a fresh start!

A Support System
Too often, people start new relationships with just about anyone because they are lonely while getting a divorce or after getting a divorce. Sparking a relationship, romantic or friendly, with anyone and everyone who will spend time with you can contribute to unhappiness in your life after divorce. Stop and think about the people that you spend time with and ask yourself, “Once my emotional turmoil has ended, would I really want to keep the relationship going with this person?”

A New Perspective
Make sure that you spend time enjoying your life after divorce – don’t forget to ‘stop and smell the roses’. Some people vent, work, go into hiding, or just plain go haywire after getting a divorce and their subsequent life after divorce isn’t as healthy as possible. At least once a week, take the time to go and do something that you really enjoy doing…it will help you start remembering who you really are.

#Goals (Have Some)
Life after divorce can feel really stressful and can make you feel like your life is falling apart.  Consider reviving goals that you’ve always had but never attained. And, while you’re at it, figure out what the “new you” wants to accomplish. Then, prioritize those goals and devise a plan to obtain them, one by one. Implement each plan and make sure you celebrate like a boss once you’ve reached your goal. Your life after divorce will be markedly better and healthier if you take this concept to heart and follow it.

Visualizing your life after divorce (and thinking about what your life might be like after divorce) is a sound and logical thing to do in order to be happy after divorce. Your life after divorce does not need to be a continuation of the pain you might have gone through or are currently going through.

Life after divorce can be extremely liberating if you act based on logic plus positive emotions rather than negativity. If divorce is eminent or you’ve already been through divorce, take the time to actually plan your life after divorce.

Need divorce coaching and support? Click here to schedule an appointment with Coach Misty.