After enduring abuse from a narcissistic partner, you’ll have a long road to recovery. But having the courage to leave an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist (whether it was from a partner or a parent, or anyone else significant) is a big deal – you should pat yourself on the back! That was the hardest thing to do. Believe me, I know.
Still, recovery and healing are possible! Whether you choose a therapist or a coach (or even a free online support group), or you choose to go it alone, these tips will be really helpful for anyone dealing with narcissistic abuse recovery.
1. Block the Narcissist On Social Media
The best thing to do is to block the abuser on social media – this is part of the whole “no contact” thing. Yes, you don’t want them checking up on you and they still could with a fake account. However, you will be tempted to check on them and by doing so, you will only become hurt from the painful reminder of seeing what they are up to. This can easily disrupt your attempts to heal from the pain. This video offers more tips on how to go no contact with a narcissist and what to expect.
2. Educate Yourself About Narcissistic Behavior
The best thing to do when you are healing is to learn about narcissistic behavior. This way you will know that the abuse would have been directed to anyone else in that relationship, and not just you – you aren’t the problem, and you aren’t crazy. However, more than that, having a good understanding of the behavior will give you the power of knowledge and understanding. This video offers a glimpse into some of those narcissistic behaviors and how to deal with them.
3. Remove Those Who Support Your Abuser From Your Life
This is a hard one because it is hard to remove those who you thought were your friends. But they’ve become flying monkeys. The fact of the matter is that through times of difficulty, you will see the true colors of those in your life. And anyone who gives you a hard time for shutting your abuser out needs to go along with them. You need pure support, not those who don’t have your back. This video offers a brief overview of flying monkeys and how you can deal with them.
4. Don’t Ignore The Past
You might want to block the past out and want to start fresh. Yes, you will want to start fresh but not so fast! First, you need to spend time focusing on yourself and your self-care – but also reflecting on the past and letting your emotions flow (so you can release them). And you need to examine how you got to where you are now from there. You will want to examine how you were able to find the courage to leave. Facing your past and examining it will help your healing process be so much more efficient and effective! So how do you know if you’re healing? Watch this video for a solid understanding of what healing looks like for survivors of narcissistic abuse.
5. Don’t Start New Relationships Right Away
If your ex was the one who is the narcissist who you had broken away from, the last thing you will want to do is start dating again immediately. You need time to heal and examine what you went through along with therapy and/or coaching. Dating again right away will only cause delays in recovery and you could end up sabotaging a relationship that has the potential to be a good one. You’ll intuitively know when the right time is to go back into the dating world. And when you’re ready, be sure you take the time to watch this video, which gives you a sharp overview of what to expect and how to know you’re ready to date again.
Remember that being abused by a narcissist is not your fault. Stay strong during the recovery. Here are some helpful free resources for you.