I wrote a series for Queenbeeing about my journey and the steps to divorcing a narcissist. I will link them throughout this blog. I walked through the steps of my divorce to give others insight on the procedure. Today is one year since the day I walked into the courthouse with the money and paperwork filled out and started the procedure. He was served on the same day while staying with a friend just before he took off out of the state. This man actually expected me to stay married to him regardless of where he was or what he was doing proven by taking off out of the state without filing and the way he treated me and our children after he left proves that I made the best decision.
I wrote How to File a Simple Divorce Without an Attorney to start. I want to let you know that most states have a way to file at no cost to you if you meet the requirements. I wish I had known this one important fact prior to filing but I am glad I learned about it to pass it along. After the Papers are Filed there is a lot of hurry up and wait. In many states, there is a requirement to take a parenting class in order for the judge to grant the divorce if you have children together. I ended up getting permission to take the class online as opposed to in person because of my C-PTSD. I talk about that in my blog, DIY Divorce: Parenting classes and the Children in between.
The first hearing was a Case Management hearing where the general magistrate was conducting the hearing and saw that my spouse was not present and informed me that he was in default. This is also where I found out that the parenting plan in place was no longer valid due to his choice to move out of the state and that I would have to print and fill out another one. If I am being honest here, I hated this. I just want everything done and over with no matter what I had agreed to in the beginning just so the end could be near. I waited over a month to get the paperwork back into the courthouse. I was beyond done with the extra nonsense.
Because he left the state and didn’t have any interest in talking to his children, he would only call to bully me and not so much as asking about our children, and he was using money to manipulate me, I wanted to make sure he would have no control over me or where I moved in the future so I asked for sole custody in the new parenting plan. After I filed the parenting plan he threatened that he was going to “bury” me if I took his kids away. I wrote about this in my blog The Domestic Violence Injunction and Why I Filed.
I am here to coach/consult you in your journey through divorcing a narcissist. If you need help with understanding the legalese or what steps you should take I have several ways to help. Please visit my coaching page.