When filing for a high conflict divorce you are going to fight tooth and nail for what you want and need. When I filed in January I waited for him to answer the petition for Dissolution of Marriage. He promised he would give me an answer and time passed by. I thought that since he was not involved things would just go quicker. Boy, was I wrong?

Default, in theory, would mean that I would get what I asked for but because I am asking for spousal support I have to prove he has the ability to pay and that I would not necessarily be fairing better than he is with my current income. Not a problem, he is working two jobs and has plenty of time because he is not raising any of his 7 children.

Lesson #1 If you file for divorce and your spouse ends up in default immediately file a Motion to Compel Evidence.

I wish I had done this in March. I wish someone had told me to do this in March. I still have a chance if I can find the correct text message, facebook message, email, or whatever form of communication he used to give me the information about his jobs and pay for each but I literally have thousands of screenshots of messages on my phone and I am so not tech savvy to get everything organized.

Lesson #2 Keep everything in one spot.

Make a folder and save everything to stay more organized. I believe I am going to try to implement this one here at the end of my journey through divorce. Better late than never as they say. Final Hearing #2 in 20 days. I should be able to get it all together by then along with praying I find the places he works.

Lesson #3 When a hearing is set in the courtroom by a judge or general magistrate it is not likely to be continued.

I called the General Magistrate’s assistant today to set a hearing for the Motion to Compel and the assistant said that I would have to take it up with the General Magistrate at the final hearing because it could not be continued since it was set in court. That was disappointing. I will prepare what I have and what I can get. I will follow through with sole custody of my daughters and child support. If spousal support is the hold up I will just put an end to the marriage and go on my merry way with my children and know that in the end, I will win.

Keep your head up through this SPANily. It is a long, hard road and the narcissist in your life is not looking to make anything easy or be any kind of decent human being.