Many people have been victims of gaslighting without even being aware of it. You may have been a victim of it as well. How would you have known? Firstly, let’s go over what gaslighting really is and then you will be able to determine if this is something you have been a victim of.

What Exactly Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a tactic that someone will use in order to become more powerful that causes you to wonder about your sanity. It is pure brainwashing. Many narcissists, abusers, and cult leaders use this tactic, as well as dictators. However, they know exactly how to do it and they do it slowly and subtly – so it kind of sneaks up on you before you realize it’s happening.

Why is it called “gaslighting” anyway?

There was a movie in 1944 called Gaslight in which a man used this tactic on his wife to the point that she thought she really was losing her sanity. Let’s now go over some examples of gaslighting.

Gaslighting Examples


1. Gaslighters Are Liars

Anyone who is gaslighting a victim is excellent at lying and they will also deny that they had ever said something even if you can prove them wrong. An example of this is a girl at high school who was bullying another student viciously. And one day she was nice to the other student, and once this kept continuing the student asked her why she was all of a sudden being nice. The bully denied that she did anything wrong and made the student look crazy for accusing her of bullying. She said she would never do such a thing, even though it happened.

2. Anyone Or Anything That Is Special To You Is Used As Ammunition

If someone is gaslighting you, they will use your prized possessions or those who you love and care about as ammunition. This can also apply if you worked hard to achieve a high-status career role. For instance, someone is one of the best surgeons around. However, someone who is gaslighting them would tell them that they have no business being the best surgeon around, let alone being one at all.

They would go over the surgeon’s negative traits to the point that the would make the surgeon question his or her worth. That can easily cause them to lose confidence in what they do which can be quite dangerous for them and their patients if they allow the gaslighter to continue.

3. Gaslighters Use A Variety Of Tactics To Wear People Down

Gaslighters know that their tactics are working if they slowly wear their victims down. They will purposely cause confusion to their victims in terrible ways. They can cut their victims down and all of a sudden unexpectedly say something positive about them. They then can make accusations towards their victims without any reason.

For instance, a man has been gaslighting his wife for a while. He puts her down constantly, but all of a sudden he starts praising her for the delicious dinners she cooks. Then she will start to think he really is not so bad. Then all of a sudden he accused her of cheating on him which she never did. This is leaving her confused and worn down, and fearful he will end up doing something worse.

If you are dealing with anyone who has been gaslighting you, these are the signs and examples. The best thing to do is to get these people out of your life and you will need some professional help with doing so safely. Not sure? Take our gaslighting test.

Am I Being Gaslighted? (Test)

Ever feel like you’re going crazy and you can’t quite figure out why? Does someone in your life make you doubt yourself and your own reality? Do you ever ask yourself, “Am I being gaslighted?” 

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a very toxic manipulation tactic that is employed by most narcissists. Not only is this tactic pervasive and highly-effective, but it is nearly impossible to detect unless you know what you’re looking for, specifically. Gaslighting is meant to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.

Take this Am I Being Gaslighted Test right now, and find out if you might be dealing with a toxic person who is gaslighting and manipulating you.

Do you ever KNOW this person is lying, but feel compelled to go along with the lie?

Yes, all the time!

Maybe, sometimes.

No, never.

Are you always second-guessing yourself or doubting your choices?

Yes, all the time!

Maybe sometimes.

No, never.

Does this person lie to you and refuse to admit the truth, even when you show them evidence that proves they’re lying?

Yes, it has happened often.

Maybe, but rarely. Or, it’s hard to say for sure.

No, never.

Are you often told you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting” in this relationship?

Yes, regularly.


No, never.

Do you ever feel confused or even wonder if you’re crazy?

Yes, often.

Maybe sometimes.

No, never.

Do you apologize for things that really aren’t your fault or for things that others won’t apologize for?

Yes, I am always apologizing for something.

I apologize sometimes when I shouldn’t, but I’m just being polite.

No, I only apologize when I’m at fault.

Do you ever question your own perception of the way things happened, even immediately following the events?

Yes, more often than I’d like to admit.

Maybe…or I’m not sure.

No, I know my perception is accurate.

Do you ever lie to prevent this person from getting upset or angry at you, or just to avoid the usual “drama” with them?

Yes, often.

Sometimes, maybe.

No, never.

Do you ever have trouble making simple decisions, especially if this person will be affected (or will judge you for the choices you make)?

Yes, all the time!

At least some of the time.

No, never.

Do you sometimes avoid telling your family or friends information about yourself or this person in order to avoid stress or trouble?

Yes, at least some of the time.

Rarely, if ever.

No, I tell the people closest to me EVERYTHING!

Do you make excuses for or help cover up this person’s bad behavior with family and/or friends?

Yes, often.

Sometimes, or maybe.

No, never.

Do you feel like you can’t do anything right?

Yes, often.

Sometimes, maybe.

Rarely or never.

Do you feel like you’re hopeless and without joy in your life?

Yes, often or at least sometimes.

Not really, or I’m not sure.


How often do you feel just “not good enough” or like you’re somehow inferior to others?

Nearly all the time.

At least sometimes.


If I were to ask you, “Who are you, exactly?”, which of the following would best fit your response to me?

I have no flipping idea.

I used to know, but now…I’m just not sure anymore.

I only matter insomuch as I apply to another person in my life. (For example, someone’s parent or partner or child or employee)

I am still figuring that out, but here’s what I’ve figured out up to this point. (Followed by an explanation of who you are or might be).

Well, I’m glad you asked. Here is a rundown of who I am. (Followed by an explanation of who you are.)


This playlist will help you discover, understand and overcome gaslighting. By Miriam Slozberg